Written by Lisa Allen | Edited by Dr Mark Kapnoudhis
We usually associate libido with sexual activity, but it is definitely something more than will of having love playthings. It is life energy. Power of creation. Creation of new life, bound with partner and happy life. It is acceptation of who we are, and ability of enjoying it.
This is how libido was understood by Sigmund Freud – famous psycho – analyst. He associated libido with Eros – creative power. Because our sexuality is not limited to – as we used to thought – to bedroom. It is the way of fulfilment in every meaning, in different fields – in bed, in work and in whole life.
Below you can find list of 10 types of libidos created by Sandra Pertot, Australian sexologist, who wrote a book: “How to create intimate happiness. 10 types of libido. Sexual incompatibility”. Check what type of temperament describes you most and see what you can do, to get more harmony and satisfaction to your bedroom.
True tenderness and deep intimacy are more important than sexual condition and achieving orgasm. Sometimes you think that sex could consist only of fore play. Kisses themselves may give you ecstasy. You are frustrated when your partner just wants some sex, and a moment after he falls asleep. Instead of harrying yourself that he doesn’t desire you, think about how your partner acts beyond bed.Does he shows his love and commitment? Focus on that.
Remember: lack of intimacy in bed does not mean lack of love and desire. His way of gaining sexual pleasure is just different than yours.
Passion, crossing lines, looking for bed novelties is something obvious for you. You can’t imagine life without passionate nights and exciting quickies. Any problems? Yes, you get bored fast. It’s not strange, because for ecstasy you need stronger and stronger experiences. When your partner doesn’t give it to you, you are unhappy or looking for romance.
What if you try to replace adrenaline with new hormone of commitment – oxytocin? And use it to test new techniques, which focus on meditational sex instead of sexual gymnastic? You have chance not only to feel ecstasy but also strengthen your relationship.
When all seems to go well, you like sex and initiate intimate moments, but when you’re stressed, sex could not even exist. If this is your type of libido – tell your partner about I, so he don’t have to worry that your antipathy for sex is not you’re his fault. Beside find a way of solving problems outside bedroom.
After you finish your work, go on a fast walk and imagine that you leave all your problems behind. When you enter home, take shower or bath as fast as you can and get dresses. Thanks to it you’ll relax and be able to take pleasure out of your partner’s caress. It will positively affect not only on your family, but also your energy and ability of dealing with problems at work and in family.
You use sex as a tool of dealing with stress. The more tensions at work or home you have, the more eager you are for sex. Well, the best way of foreplay for you is good argument. You like to make up with somebody in bed, and it gives you unbelievable pleasure. This way of dealing with tensions may lead to addiction and ruin every relationship. That why you should find another methods of dealing with stress. Instead of taking your partner to bedroom, offer him watching a comedy.
Laugh unwinds your muscles and removes alert state in your body. Go for a walk, or a gym, ride a bike. Thank to it you will lower your tension and distance from stressful situation. If you do it, sex will stop being a way of dealing with stress, or conflicts reasons. It will become common pleasure and stop drive you apart.
Your sexual needs are very strong. It’s not a problem. Problem is that you are not able to control them. It is a sign of emotional insecurity. If somebody has ex with you, it means that he desires and appreciates you.
This type of libido is almost a certain warranty of problems in relationship and lack of satisfaction in bedroom. Because if partner is unwilling to have sex, you feel completely rejected. It may give you a reason to ensure about own attractiveness with other men.
Do not use sex to strengthen your own self – confidence. Then you have chance, that bed will become a place of gaining mutual pleasure instead of place where you deal with your low self-esteem.
Having sex once upon three months has been perfect for you, since you remember? If your partner also feels so you don’t have to worry about anything. But if you’re afraid that he may find another sexual object of fantasies, learn how to like having sex.
Discovering sensual side of your libido. Don’t worry that you don’t feel crazy passion when your partner touches and caress you. Just concentrate on satisfaction connected with intimacy and tenderness. Offer your partner being teacher of your pleasures. Ask him about patience and gentleness. It is tempting role for men, and a chance for you to find more pleasure in life
You initiate sex rarely, but you eagerly return caress. You don’t have problem with getting off on sex, whenever you fell your partner wants it. You want to give him everything he needs to satisfied. What’s more you fell satisfaction when you do so.
However your sexual life can gain a lot when you appreciate your own needs. You can take up initiative from time to time, and offer a position or game which in your opinion is stimulating. You can gain more pleasure, by giving your partner something, what every man wants – possibility of giving pleasure to his woman. It will make you even more attractive for him.
If I am in relationship I have a right to have sex whenever I want – it is the motto of people with such libido. Your partner is to give you pleasure in the way you want It to have. Because deep inside you believe that you deserve for everything . It’s a simple method of giving your partner orgasm or gaining multiply orgasms.
Effect? Boredom and lack of happiness in bed. As time pasts, willing for having sex may disappear completely. The only advice: chill out. Laugh in bed. Learn how to play with your touch, kisses. Discover sensitive site of caress.
This type has own recipe for sex. It can be specific sort of pornography, which allows for arousal. It can be fetish or place without there is no excitement. It not only that you won’t go to bed without high-heels and stocking, it’s the sign of hidden emotional needs.
If you don’t discover what is missing in your life and relationship, you will risk that perverse sex won’t be able to fulfil your needs. And perversion is usually connected with need of stronger and stronger stimulators for gaining satisfaction. Advice? Before another relationship is ruined, visit psycho-therapist or sexologist. Find a way of fulfilling you sexual fantasies without ruining your life.